Tag Archives: discipline

Discipline: Is it a DIRTY word?

Parent Children Education Engagement

Cooperative Discipline enables Adults to apply specific strategies to reach children. One important tip to remember, is that children choose their behaviour, and we have power to influence,  not control, their choices. The change starts with the adult; we need to learn how to interact with children so they will want to choose appropriate behaviour and comply with the rules.

Usually, children misbehave because they want something. The first step in Cooperative Discipline is to pinpoint exactly what the child wants when he misbehaves. This approach to “categorizing behavior” was first proposed by psychologist, Rudolf Dreikurs. Generally, children misbehave to reach one of these 4 goals. Does every misbehaviour really have one of these four goals? Of course not. No theory, no matter how complete, applies to every situation 100 percent of the time; yet these four goals can help you classify the misbehaviours more than 90 percent of the time.

Attention: Some children choose misbehavior to get extra attention.
Power: Some Children want to be the boss. They want everything to be done their way. They will challenge and argue with Adults until they think they’ve had the “last word.”

Revenge: Some children want to lash out to get even for real or imagined hurts. They may sometimes threaten physical harm or get indirect physical revenge by breaking, damaging, or stealing. They also may try to manipulate you into feeling hurt or guilty.

Avoidance of failure: Some Children feel inadequate because they believe they can’t live up to expectations. To compensate, they behave in ways that make them appear inadequate, by procrastinating, not completing their work, or pretending to have a disability. These Children hope that everyone will back off and leave them alone so they won’t have to face the fact that they aren’t performing up to their potential.

Deal with the misbehavior immediately
After you have categorized the misbehavior, choose a specific intervention for dealing with that type of behaviour.

Provide some encouragement
Cooperative Discipline assumes that Children will misbehave again if the strategies are not accompanied by encouragement techniques that build self-esteem and strengthen the child’s motivation to cooperate and learn. Encouragement techniques are neither time-consuming nor difficult to learn. Commit to using them daily and the child will feel like valued. Strategies for encouraging children fall into three categories:

Capable: Children need to feel capable of completing their task.
Create an environment where it’s okay to make mistakes.
Build confidence by focusing on improvement and on past successes.
Make your learning objectives reachable for all children.

Connect: Children need to believe they can develop positive relationships with teachers and classmates. How?
Be accepting
Give attention by listening and show interest
Show appreciation by praise or written notes
Use affirmation statements
Build affectionate relationships with simple acts of kindness.

Contribute: Children need to contribute to the community. How?
Involve them in maintaining the environment.
Ask for suggestions when decisions need to be made.

These are just a few points to help in developing a child. Remember keep this simple and stick to the boundaries that you commit too.

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Discipline a dirty word – How to get children on your side

parenting and discipline

 

There are as many philosophies about how to discipline a child as there are parents. However, it is always important to match the disciplinary approach to the child’s age. Children will respond to certain methods more readily at certain developmental stages than at others. Here are a potpourri of ideas to get children of all ages on your side.

  • Spend time chatting with the Child after class
  • Ask the Child about life outside school.
  • Eat snack with your Child occasionally.
  • Invite the Child to share a snack with you.
  • Attend school event.
  • Get involved in a community project with your the Child.
  • Schedule individual conferences to let the Child know about their progress.
  • Chaperone school events.
  • Send cards, messages, and homework to absent the Child.
  • Express real interest in the Child’ work or hobbies.
  • Share your interests with your Child.

 

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Discipline is a dirty word – Deal with the misbehavior immediately

children discipline 2

 

After you have categorized the misbehavior, you’ll want to choose specific interventions for dealing with that type of behavior. Give these strategies a try:

Attention:

  • Give “the eye” so the student knows you mean business.
  • Stand close to the student and continue your presentation.
  • Distract the student by asking a direct question or using the student’s name while continuing your presentation.
  • Give specific praise to a nearby child who is  ‘on task’.

Power:

  • Avoid direct confrontation by agreeing with the student or changing the subject.
  • Acknowledge the student’s power and state your actions: “You’re right, I can’t make you finish the math problems, but I’ll be checking the levels at the end of the day.”
  • Change the activity, do something unexpected, or initiate another class discussion on a topic of interest.
  • Use time-out by giving a choice: “You may sit quietly, keep your hands and feet to yourself, and complete the work, or you may go to time-out. You decide.”

Revenge:

  • Revoke a privilege.
  • Build a caring relationship by using affirmation statements that give the message: “You’re okay, but your choice of behavior is not.”
  • Require the return, repair, or replacement of damaged objects.
  • Involve school personnel or parents if necessary.

Avoidance of failure:

  • Acknowledge the difficulty of the assigned task, but remind the pupil of past successes he had doing similar tasks.
  • Modify instruction, and materials.
  • Teach the pupil to say “I can” instead of “I can’t” by recognizing achievements.
  • Provide peer tutors or ask the child to help someone else, perhaps a younger child, to help build self-confidence.

Provide some encouragement

The trouble with many discipline programmes is that they give teachers strategies for addressing misbehavior, but don not show them how to keep the misbehavior from recurring. Cooperative Discipline assumes that pupils will misbehave again if the strategies are not accompanied by encouragement techniques that build self-esteem and strengthen the child’s motivation to cooperate and learn.

Encouragement techniques are neither time-consuming nor difficult to learn. Commit to using them daily and your pupils will feel like valuable members of the classroom. Strategies for encouraging pupils fall into three categories:

Capable: Pupils need to feel capable of completing their work in a satisfactory manner. How?

  • Create an environment where it’s okay to make mistakes.
  • Build confidence by focusing on improvement and on past successes.
  • Make your learning objectives reachable for all pupils.

Connect: Pupils need to believe they can develop positive relationships with teachers and classmates. How?

  • Be accepting of all pupils, regardless of past misbehavior.
  • Give attention by listening and showing interest in their activities outside of class.
  • Show appreciation by praise or written notes.
  • Use affirmation statements that are specific and enthusiastic about a student’s good behavior or abilities.
  • Build affectionate relationships with simple acts of kindness.

Contribute: Pupils need to contribute to the welfare of the class so they feel like they make a difference. How?

  • Involve them in maintaining the learning environment by holding class meetings.
  • Ask for suggestions when decisions need to be made.
  • Use cooperative learning groups frequently.
  • Encourage peer tutoring.

Pupils feel good about themselves—and about their ability to succeed in school—when they believe they’re capable learners who can connect in positive ways with classmates and teachers. They’ll also feel good about themselves when they find ways to contribute to the class and to the school. Keep in mind that encouragement strategies not only prevent misbehavior but are being used successfully as violence and gang prevention measures.

Making partners along the way

Cooperative Discipline is a process that promotes collaboration. Building a strong partnership with pupils and parents is essential to maintain a positive discipline programme that works.

Start by creating partnerships with your pupils. One way to involve them is to get their help in developing a classroom code of conduct. They’ll be more interested in keeping and enforcing the rules because they helped develop them. Another strategy is to teach pupils about the three C’s of encouragement (capable, connect, and contribute) and help them find ways they can encourage themselves and their classmates.

Set the stage for effective parent partnerships. Have your school principal invite parents to a meeting to get their input on writing a code of conduct. When you conference with parents about a problem you are having with their child, limit your complaints to three or four misbehaviors. Discuss with parents which intervention and encouragement strategies you will be using to help their child choose more positive behavior. Send a clear message that you want parents to participate in the disciplining of their children. Reminding parents that “you cannot always do it alone” sometimes will get you the support you want and need.

 

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Discipline is a Dirty Word – Part 1

Childhood Discipline

You have to accept the fact that you have enormous power to influence a child’s behavior.

Here’s how you can help a child to choose positive behavior.

Cooperative Discipline enables parents and or teachers to apply specific strategies to reach individual children.
One important tip to remember is that children choose their behavior, and we have power to influence—not control—their choices. The change starts with the adult; we need to learn how to interact with children so they will want to choose appropriate behavior and comply with the rules.

Here’s what you do to Identify the child’s behavior.  Usually, children misbehave because they want something—to be the centre of attention or to boss others around, for example. The first step in Cooperative Discipline is to pinpoint exactly what the child wants when he misbehaves. This approach to categorizing behavior was first proposed by psychologist Rudolf Dreikurs. Generally, children misbehave to reach one of these four goals.

  1. Attention: Some children choose misbehavior to get extra attention. They want to be center stage, so they distract parents,teachers and classmates to gain an audience and special recognition. Some typical behaviors include making noises, using foul language, and creating unnecessary interruptions during class time.
  2. Power: Some pupils/children want to be the boss—of them selves, the parent, the teacher, and sometimes the whole class. They want everything to be done their way. At the very least, they want to show others that “you can’t push me around.” These children are not likely to comply with rules. They will challenge and argue until they think they’ve had the “last word.”
  3. Revenge: Some children want to lash out to get even for real or imagined hurts. They may sometimes threaten physical harm or get indirect physical revenge by breaking, damaging, or stealing. They also may try to manipulate you into feeling hurt or guilty.
  4. Avoidance of failure: Some children feel inadequate because they believe they can’t live up to their own, their family’s, or their teacher’s expectations. To compensate, they behave in ways that make them appear inadequate, by procrastinating, not completing their work, or pretending to have a disability. These pupils hope that everyone will back off and leave them alone so they won’t have to face the fact that they aren’t performing up to their potential.

Does every misbehavior really have one of these four goals?

Of course not. No theory, no matter how complete, applies to every situation 100 percent of the time; yet these four goals can help you classify the misbehavior more than 90 percent of the time.

 

 

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